I’m not by nature an emotional person. Every personality test I’ve ever taken has me at 99% on the facts, 1% on emotions. I don’t care about details. I don’t care for planning. But I do have a need to analyze. Everything. To death….I’m getting better, and now I’m even more convinced of the power of irrational decisions!
Why? I’m glad you asked.
A few weeks ago, through some small twists of fate and a dash of chance, a friend from many years ago gave me a call to talk. We have a shared history, similar life experiences. We’ve been through a lot in our separate lives. It was nice catching up with her but when we said our goodbye’s and hung up the phone, I figured that was it.
I was wrong.
A few weeks later we began texting back and forth. I can’t recall who texted first, or why. Something small I’m sure. But along the way, a spark started. Nothing big, just a little one. As the texts progressed, that spark started spinning in my mind. What was this I was feeling? Surely not the heart I thought I’d beaten down…
Maybe?
Each day, each text, I thought more and more about what ifs. But almost immediately, I’d dismiss those thoughts. I mean really, she lived several states away! I was being irrational. Egad, perhaps even emotional. I should stop. Besides, she probably didn’t feel the same spark of curiosity, right? I was just reading what I wanted into the text messages right?
But….
Work had been pretty slow. I did have some free time on my hands.
Maybe?
Time to stop being rational. Stop being analytical. Before I thought about what I was doing, I was planning a bike trip to see her. Within the next few days. And she hadn’t said no. In fact, she seemed excited! But probably just glad to see an old friend right?
The next couple days dragged along, the details of the trip tweaked a little, work suddenly got ridiculously busy, but now I was determined to go. I had to know what if…
Finally it was time to leave. An added bonus was that Dad was able to come for part of the trip and we were making a motorcycle road trip out of it. This was getting better! A good sign right?
The first part of the trip was incredible. Dad and I saw amazing country. We toured back roads and rugged mountains. And as each mile clicked, we got closer to where my true destination lay. The answers to my questions were just over the last mountain range.
What if…
Before I knew it, we’d clicked off almost 800 miles and it was time for Dad to split off on his own path. It hit me…In just a few hours the what ifs may be answered. But what if I was wrong? I hadn’t seen her in 10+ years. The analyzing started zipping through my mind as I leaned the bike around each corner. What if she thought I was an idiot? What had those 10 years done to her? What if I was wrong to come? Then suddenly I was at her front door.
Butterflies the size of Alaska began raging war in my stomach. A group of sailors tied my guts into knots.
I rang the bell…
She opened the door, and my emotions beat back the fear with nuclear force. She was stunning. She was happy to see me! We hugged…It felt right!
More spark?
The next few days flew by. We rode through the mountains. We shared a ride in the rain. We went to coffee. We talked about our pasts. We shared stories. We shared our hurt. We shared our joys. The spark grew.
Then without warning, it was the last night.
What if…
We talked relationships. We talked of challenges to relationships. We talked of what was next, of what could be. We chose to move forward. To take the next steps.
To find the answers to what if.
The next day I pointed the handlebars back home. My heart was heavy as I watched her disappear in my mirror, but my hopes were high. Possibilities seemed endless.
It was hard to believe this fact pounding, emotion fearing guy had just clicked off well over 2,000 miles to see a girl. A girl he hadn’t seen in 10 years. All because of emotions; because of hope; because of a possibility.
Today, I’m excited about where things can go. I’m still not sure how the story will be written. Is it a chapter, or a book? It’s sure to have plot twists. Its characters face hurdles. But it’s certainly not out of ink. I believe in the power of a spark. I believe in the power of emotions. I believe in the power of possibilities.
The story is just beginning. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
~T.S.
Very engaging write, Travis!
I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this.